Thursday 9 July 2015

Developing a daily rhythm

Continuity and routines are highly valued because they provide a sense of security in the lives of those with cancer (Keesing & Rosenwax, 2011; La Cour, Nordell & Josephsson, 2009). With Paul, one of his favourite routines was sitting in the garden with my mom chatting and drinking tea.

11 July 2015 
“I’m up and about so should be at moms around 10 for a cuppa in the garden”

It was a ritual between Mom and Paul. Even when it was a bit cold they would sit out there in their coats so Paul could smoke and they could spend time together. 
Mom and Paul in their favourite place - Mom's back garden
Paul also spent a lot of time at home playing cards with his son and sitting in the garden. Again it’s clear that these simple activities gave him a lot of pleasure and satisfaction.

8 July 2014
“Watered my plants in greenhouse, sat in communal garden on my own enjoying the weather with the birds singing to each other in the trees and the sound of lawnmowers. Good old England”

La Cour, Nordell & Josephsson (2009) speak of how this continuity and ordinariness is often combined with novel activities to provide a daily rhythm. 
Such a novel activity for Paul was to attend the T20Blast cricket with my nephew, an event that lasted all day and ended with the Birmingham Bears winning the trophy in the evening. 

26 August 2014 
“Cricket was fab, though I’m struggling to recharge”. 

Paul was so wiped out from his time at the cricket that he wasn’t able to leave the house for the three days following it, but he was determined to last the whole day. 
He made huge efforts to continue his favoured occupations and Park Lala & Kinsella (2011) state that occupation is very important in making death better. Terminally ill individuals who were free to choose lethal intervention reported that decreased ability to participate in activities that make life enjoyable was a major factor in deciding to hasten death.
Paul with our nephew, James, before
the cricket at Edgbaston

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